Don't go through the motions- take the time to go through the emotions

In life we suffer all kinds of losses that range from minor to life changing. How do you handle that change?

I am no stranger to this but for most of my life I have handled these situations by distraction, denial, and running as fast as I possibly could in the other direction. Suffice to say, that didn't get me too far. It was like running on a treadmill, going top speed and staying in the same place.

For the first time in my life I took the time to allow myself to go through the emotions, stay present in how I was really feeling, not judge myself, not rush myself, not measure myself against some abstract goal. I didn't let the opinions of others shape how I felt, I captured them, gave thought to them but ultimately let my heart guide me in the direction or directions (because sometimes it goes in several at the same time of course) that I knew I needed to go. If I felt sad, I felt sad. If I felt happy, I felt happy. If I was hurt, I was hurt. And if I was angry, I was angry.

I read, I listened, I cried, I wrote, I indulged, I talked, I became vulnerable. But I did not internalize. I became healthy. I grew. I changed. I had never been so broken and yet I have never felt more strength in myself.

There really is a difference, I now know it first hand. And I am so lucky to have found it. I found strength in my weakness and will never forget the experience.